So here it is, after three and a half years and nearly a quarter of a million pounds spent by the various regulators and indemnifiers. The GDC barrister Tom Cosgrove had an arsenal of written material and staff testimony, and my own 'defence' barrister had just said it was all authentic. I had received little coaching in what to say, and I had to explain how all this evidence had come to be created, without being able to tell the truth about it (that is a lame description. Please read the 'PCT meeting' post for clarification). Remember that the original staff complaint, and the staff testimony, had been prepared jointly, and that the staff had been working together daily for three and a half years- just about enough time to get their story straight. The main points of their complaint were entirely uncorroborated by any one single patient, still less by those tedious details I have seen obtained elsewhere such as times, dates and locations (with the exception of one burp mentioned in one written complaint). The dishonesty of the staff had been discussed at length at the Primary Care Trust, and the written evidence was riddled with at least eight examples of provable dishonesty by named staff members. Mr Holgate had been asked very few penetrating questions as he had never seen my 'unacceptable and wide ranging' behaviour and yet he had told two whoppers on the stand, for proof of which lies there was documentary confirmation. He had previously made a very serious and entirely implausible written accusation of racism in connection with the wallets, one of the main accusations against me. However none of this seemed to trouble the saintly Mr Cosgrove as he went at me as if I was a predatory paedophile. The case was shot through with dishonesty, and if that does not make him (and anyone else who accepted this bullshit on face value ie everyone else in the room (including, at one point, me)) dishonest I don't know what could.
I had some explanation initially but soon ran out. I was having to explain why other people, acting with malice, had chosen to behave in the way that they did and I could not. I had an idea what the phrase 'my mind went blank' meant but had never experienced the feeling repeatedly. All the aggression that I had suffered was being directed at me again one hundred fold as if it had happened yesterday, and I had to go back to my hotel, sleep, and do it again the next day. The memory disgusts me, and the thought of my lawyers sitting there watching me having dumped me in it disgusts me even more.
I changed my story in two significant aspects. The first, that I admitted to being rude and sarcastic to the staff, is of little bearing as they had been making my life a misery and I would have been ashamed if I had done anything else. The second, however, haunts me. Mr Cosgrove had the complaints log in front of him and was making me account for the number of complaints (this is some of the evidence that was scored through with alterations and duplications). The two consecutive entries that were proof of the foul collusion in the practice- because they were written in the same (anonymous) hand and contained identical language, the chances of which happening innocently being nought- I admitted to be genuine. All the letters and emails I had written, all the travelling I had done and all the money I had spent came to nothing. For three and a half years I had fought my corner successfully more or less alone, and here I was admitting that the evidence incriminated me when it did the opposite. I have thought often about this, and have concluded that at that moment in time, because I could not utilise the correct explanation (thanks again Mr Fortune) I genuinely believed this to be the case. I had been beaten.
Unsurprisingly, after asking me whether I thought it was a good idea to inform patients that their mouths stank of putrefaction and why I was unwilling to fund my patients' dental treatment, the Committee found me not credible and the rest is history.
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